Playing catch up....December 21st 9:30pm

Friends and Family,

Our road has been full of twists and turns this week, that is for sure. I am not sure where I have left off.

I will start with the fighter baby, Linden!

I saw her 5 times today since I am sharing the same home. The first time I went this morning with Todd, there was no change...30% on average oxygen 35 breaths per minute and pressure 30-32. All medication, i.e., anitbiotics, dopamine, sedation meds were stopped. She has her last sedation yesterday at 10 am. Todd and I were nervous that she may be uncomfortable with the vent tube in her mouth. She also has a feeding tube which also is in her mouth. I was so afraid of her being uncomfortable. Yet, the nurses told me, he blood pressure, etc. would reflect pain and as of today, she has not needed any sedation or pain meds. Wahoo!

How I saw her five times...
Yesterday, in the mid morning I started having pain again in my abdomen. I took the pain medication..which makes me nervous...and it worked so I went on with my day. I relaxed, rested, played and cooked 7 layer bars....don't worry, it takes 5 minutes, literally. We got the bay to bed, along with mom, dad and ethan...then it hit like a ton of bricks.

It was instant, excrutiating pain in my abdomen. I had taken pain meds 15 minutes before the episode...hoping to fight it off. But, it grabbed hold of me...so painful, so many tears, I couldn't get out of bed to walk to the car, or for Todd to carry me. I started trembling and Todd called the ambulance. I scared him...I was scared.

The ambulance brought me to the hospital and the pain meds started to kick in. ..so I was ready to go home and forget it happened...not Todd. He was not going home until we had an answer. So, another ultrasound showed there was tissue in my uterus still. Actually, the ultrasound from Thursday was identical, which means he didn't get the tissue out, it might be grown into the wall of my uterus...UGH!

So, I was admitted to the hospital overnight to meet with the doctor on call this morning. Todd stayed with me as well. Mom and Dad were still at in town so the other kiddos had no clue what was going on.

This morning Dr. Roberts came in and said she would schedule me another D&C today. We are to get the pathology back on Thursday's procedure Monday which would tell us if I had placenta accreta...that is when the placent grows into the uterus. If that is the case I will need a hysterectomy tomorrow. So, instead of two surgeries, they are managing my pain with a morphine pump...wahoo...and we will know in the morning the pathology and make some decisions. Haven't been feeling good...therefore, not in a blogging mood...

Back to Linden...SOOOOO, the last time I saw her around 5 pm with Mom...HER EYES were OPEN!!! She looked right at me, she followed our voices with her sweet eyes...which we think are blue. She let us talk to her, touch her and sing to her. It was the sweetest moment...i remember the same moment with Saige. God is so good. Her eyes would roll about her head...and then focus right on me. So amazing...he oxygen was 30 or less, pressure 30 and 20 breaths per minute...all awesome. Her blood gases were excellent! Made my day! I figured out today that I just hadn't felt she was turning the corner so it was so hard to be optimistic...she was so swollen, so still...didn't look like she was mine. NOW, she looks like my baby!!! Linden is kicking her legs, they are moving her from side to side, which she likes and the latest news...
SHE PULLED OUT HER TUBE! i guess she had enough of that vent tube...yanked that sucker out! The nurse said 98% of the time they don' thave to put it back in! They put her on a c-pap machine which will force air into her lungs but, she won't need oxygen support...so far.

So, we just have this health hurdle for me, and it seems Linden is taking control of her own health.

I am so pumped!!1 We are so exhausted, we haven't been returning calls, just bear with us. We are so tired of talking about it, not sleeping and worrying...we just don' thave the energy...well, I have some but , not much.

Pray for me...I am scared about the surgery. Going under...with three kids waiting for me...not liking it at all. Funny how that changes when your responsibilites are different. Pray for Linden's continuing recovery...for Ethan and Saige...that they remember me!!!

Love you, must go to bed, K

All typos and jumbled info...blame the morphine.